People call me the “Queen of Self-esteem” but it has not always been like that…
Hi, my name is Elena Adani. I am a well-being professional and a coach, my main passion is helping people to achieve extraordinary goals, and I enjoy creating products and new strategies to improve people’s lives. About 5 years ago, I made a big change. As I could not keep on working in an office where I could not express my creativity, and myself, I decided to quit the job and dedicate my life to help people just like you. I made this big leap when I was about 42, so there is no specific age to make radical changes.
I have always been a free spirit, driven by curiosity and the desire to fight injustice. In fact, it is not by chance that I was born in 1968 in Modena (Italy), a year of great social and economic turmoil. During my teen’s years and for a long time I felt stuck, I had difficulties taking life easily, plagued with the challenge of having a good self-esteem, and come to grips with my negative emotions.
Thanks to an expert life-coach whose coaching helped me turn my habits around, and thanks to myself for my commitment to improving my lifestyle, I was able to transform my suffering into moments of joy. And today, I am a coach as well. I am also an expert in personal development, massage, flower therapy, radionics, and postural rebalancing. This amazing change has allowed me to attract only positive people in my life, including my husband. Today, I am convinced that the mind and body are tightly connected and that one lifetime is not enough to understand all the secrets hidden in the human’s mind and body.
It is a true pleasure for me to welcome you aboard LIFENOWACADEMY®.
If you like to know something more about me please go on reading…
About fifteen years ago, my self-esteem was almost non-existent and it made me unfulfilled: I didn’t like my job and my relationship was a disaster. Ever since I was a teenager, I had problems with my backbone; I was in pain until bedtime every day. At that point, I did not understand that my back pain was not only due to scoliosis, it was also due to compressed vertebrae. It was mostly due to emotions, behavior and hostile thoughts I somatized, especially on my lower back. During my teenage years, I had a hard time taking life lightly. I used to have daily fights with my father, and I did not realize that the only way he knew how to face worries and stress, was indeed to hide behind a mask of aggressiveness, even though he was a nice person. In fact, I too subconsciously did the same thing. I hide my fragility behind a mask of rage and pride, which alternated with moments of peace. As my insecurities grew stronger, the relationship with my father imploded, my inner discomfort kept revealing itself through a chronic backache. I thought I was going to find some peace as I grew up, but that did not happen. Instead, I kept experiencing moments of conflict within my family and at work, until my adult age. For a long time, I was imprisoned by sadness, a feeling of inadequacy, which I kept somatizing on my spine. Sometimes I let my dark side out, that is to say, emotions like rage and fear; other times I was the portrait of love and a zest for life.
During that period of my life, I did not make exercise a priority. I will, however, always be grateful to my sister for her insistence in telling me that, if I stayed deskbound all day, my body would absolutely pay the consequences. Though I began going to the gym regularly, my backache still did not go away and neither did my frustration. However, engaging myself in sports helped me release all the tension that I had accumulated at the office. During that time, I was working as a secretary in a big metalworking company, but the ever-growing dissatisfaction with my job fueled my sadness and my poor self-confidence. For years, I kept going from one job to another hoping to get better. I was wrong. I still had to understand that, the reason for my dissatisfaction was not only because my colleagues or my employers were not nice. The truth was, I had trouble relating with others in a peaceful way and, worst of all, I was scared to leave a “safe” job and follow my dreams. Though I didn’t like my job, I still continued doing it, and still had a hard time saying what I thought for fear of being judged. Later, I found some relief from Bach Flower Remedies, and also, when I took long walks in the countryside.
During the spring of 2004, the fragile balance I had built within the office began to fall apart, as my workload was getting exponentially higher. During my spare moments which I used to ease off stress, I usually feel a weight on my stomach which made it difficult for me to breathe. I, however, thought it was a normal reaction to stress and so, I didn’t give it much attention. I kept focusing on my body, rather than on my mind. In fact, I started attending Tai Chi lessons, and that made me feel better. After every lesson, I felt like I was floating and not walking. I was so relaxed that I forgot every problem. It was a really pleasant sensation. Then, one morning in April 2004, something unexpected occurred: right after waking up, I started feeling a general itch. It took me a few seconds to realize what I was looking at in the mirror. I was covered head to toe in big red spots, my face and lips also doubled in size, I looked rather unpleasant, and I was getting more and more worried by the minute. Immediately, I went to the hospital. After a few hours at the hospital, the red spots and itch were gone, my lips were back to normal, and I convinced myself it was just an allergic reaction, maybe due to something I had eaten earlier. For the first time, I was able to convince myself that the origin of my health problems was hidden inside my mind and was especially due to my frustrations as I still had to go to a working place where I could not manifest my creativity, and also had to deal with stressed people all the time. I resolved to pay more attention to my feelings and to what I would eat.
Sometimes, when working, I did ask myself these questions:
• What am I doing here?
• Why don’t I quit this job and follow my passions?
• How long will I keep on doing this awful job?
Since Natural Healing and Personal Growth had always interested me, coupled with the fact that I have read many books about these subjects, I didn’t find any motivation when I went to work, when I had to answer to the Company’s phone, and copy texts on the computer. In fact, these were the only tasks I had to accomplish every day. I was sure that sooner or later I would have found the big idea, the idea that would allow me to quit my job. Fortunately, I was able to find some relief when I was with my partner, Marco – the most well-mannered man any woman could ever dream of. While many business ideas were taking place in my mind, I began to get involved in the study of internet marketing. I made some researches on the internet and then I deeply studied the data during the weekends. I thought that knowing marketing was very important, especially if I would have to open my own company someday. At that time, I still didn’t know what I would create in the future. The only certainty I had was that I would not finish my career being an employee.
THE TURNING POINT
After carrying out a deep research in the world of marketing, I was overwhelmed by the amazing working opportunities the internet could offer, especially if I opened my own business. Being aware that on the web I had at least an opportunity to develop my creativity, I began to be less frustrated when I went to work. I felt like I was near a big change. But unfortunately, I didn’t know that the turning point I had to face that year was related to my personal life, and not to my job. Then one day, I received a call that gave the biggest shock to my life. I can still vividly remember that wet February afternoon in 2006, when Marco’s brother called, and told me that Marco, was being taken to the hospital. The next day, the doctors said Marco had a cerebral ischemia, and they still didn’t know the cause. From that night on, I felt like I was living a nightmare. Every day, I impatiently waited to see him during the visiting hours. Hours that passed away so quickly. Unfortunately, the cause of the ischemia was rather serious, and Marco had to undergo a surgery to remove a tumor that compromised the frontal lobe of his brain. About two months later, I got a call from the hospital, “the call” I would never have wanted to hear: Marco’s condition was critical and his family’s presence was required. His parents and I had the opportunity to stay with him for as long as we wanted. But only a few hours later, the inevitable happened. His light went out forever, and a part of my heart left with him. My greatest love, whom I will never forget, was lost. Our house was dreadfully empty and the nights were so cold without Marco. For a long time, I still prepared the table for him and spent nights alone on the couch trying to distract myself by watching television. The pain, rage, and tears of desperation were there waiting for me every single day, especially at night when I had an inevitable date with solitude, the questions I continually asked myself, Why Marco? Why not me?
If there was any possibility of exchanging my life with Marco’s, I would certainly have done it. I would have preferred to sacrifice myself instead of Marco because he was an extraordinary man, full of love for humanity. His family, friends, and I had to make a big effort to accept that Marco was dead. My pain was so intense that I had difficulty sleeping. Sometimes, I strove to concentrate on the simple every day’s tasks because my mind was temporarily distracted in a sort of limbo. I was continuously in pain and didn’t know how to stop my suffering. However, I needed someone to share my pains with, but I did not want to be a burden to anyone. Then one day I called a friend, Luca, who unfortunately had lived the same kind of experience. Luca told me that when you lose a loved one, there are no rules to follow to ease the pain. He also told me that soon after he lost his wife, the only way he was able to distract himself from the icy flow of rage, pain, and sorrow, was going out with his friends as much as possible. He also suggested I should consider the possibility of moving from my home because changing from the present location would certainly helped me in dealing with my predicament. I thanked Luca very much for his advice, and then I started going out with my friends every Friday and Saturday evening. In the following months, I lost all awareness of my body and mind. I realized I had a spine only on Sunday, when it hurt because I spent all the night dancing. If I hadn’t danced the night away at a club, I wouldn’t have been able to escape my torments. Also, If it wasn’t for the support of my dear friend Morena, who saved me from the abyss of desperation, I don’t know if I would have survived that icy flow of rage, and pain that was about to send me over the edge. It’s really true that you find out who your friends are in your time of need. Sometimes a true friend can save your life.
Even though dancing and going out with my friends helped me to find a sort of distraction, when the disco lights switched-off and then I get out of bed on Sundays, loneliness was always there waiting for me, ready to overwhelm my body and mind with negative emotions. I missed Marco so much that I had to make an effort not to cry all the time.
I have met people who, at the end of a relationship, chose to be alone for years or even the rest of their life. I also do admire their internal balance and their spirit of adjustment. I could never do that because it is just not my nature. Even though Marco will always hold a special place in my heart, I never lost hope of falling in love again. In fact, a few years later, I met Andrea. I had hoped I could build the same sort of special relationship with him, like that I had with Marco. I was wrong. My need for love clouded my judgment, and in fact, after a few months of living together, I was a prisoner of my relationship that, even though it was nourished by a strong love, it was a disaster. The pain over the death of Marco was so intense that I could not relax. Anyone who was close to me at that time must have been extremely patient, dealing with my unhappy moments, when I urged to completely isolate myself from the world so I could be alone. Naturally, isolating myself was not the right solution, however, I still didn’t know how to free myself from that burden of sorrow that I was carrying around.
My need to be loved was such that it blurred my rationality. In fact, after Marco’s loss, I was searching for the same kind of relationship that I had had with him, and instead, Andrea was looking for a woman very similar to his mother. Clearly, I was not his soul mate and he wasn’t mine. I reached a point when I got tired of being in a relationship that made me sad. Then I began to take stock of what I had experienced up until then. I, however, realized that to defeat the sufferings, I would have to eliminate all of the negative behaviors, thoughts and debilitating emotions that I had been carrying around for ages. I also knew that to be fully happy, I would have to get over one last obstacle, the one that was the most difficult to eliminate: the fear of solitude. I contacted a highly competent naturopath I had known for years, who helped me get in touch with my deepest self. The most important lesson I learned from Deborah, the naturopath, was about the importance of loving myself primarily. That also meant having a decent and healthy self-esteem. Meanwhile, she also asked me some fundamental questions, the classic million-dollar questions:
• If you are in a relationship or a job that doesn’t make you happy, why don’t you leave?
• Why do you let Andrea treat you with such disrespect?
• Why do you still go to an office where you can’t express your creativity?
She was right. No one had ever presented the problem to me so clearly. I definitely wanted to stop the sufferings and quit the job I didn’t like. More importantly: I did not want a partner that constantly criticized me. My meetings with Deborah helped me gain faith in myself, increase my self-esteem, and further developed my awareness. Almost for fun, I began giving advice to people with relationship problems, especially friends who asked me for help. However, I could not resolve my problems with Andrea because I was too involved. Few months after the meetings with Deborah, by chance (though I am sure, there are no coincidences), I received an email from a cultural association promoting a course entitled: “Let’s Talk about Emotions”, held by a life coach. I called the coach right away to get more information and also made an appointment for a consultation. Even though Deborah’s teachings were helpful, I still wanted to discover the other secrets of the human psyche, especially mine. I felt like I was on the right track and as if I had already made giant strides towards getting better. I decided to put myself in the knowledgeable hands of the coach. The twelve appointments I had with him were pivotal, and his technique was completely different from Deborah’s technique. Through visualization and meditation exercises, I was able to penetrate the depth of my soul and imagined everything I wanted. Furthermore, during each time-interval between one appointment and the next, it was as if an invisible force listened to my thoughts and then made them materialize. Everything I thought happened. They were not miracles or even magic. I concentrated on an objective and a desire, and after a few days, something would happen to lead me towards that goal. I felt like I was living a dream, increasingly better, and my relationships with my colleagues began to improve notably.
Finally, I found the courage to leave Andrea, even if I still had strong feelings for him. Making that difficult but critical decision was the turning point for my transformation. After a long time, I began to find peace, like when I was with Marco. I was able to free my spirit and myself from the weight of years of limiting emotions and beliefs. I was finally happy and my backache was gone. I became the most popular woman on the planet (so to speak) and met many fantastic people who brought joy to my life, but the magic did not end here. Interestingly, during one of my walks, I tried to run for a few minutes but didn’t experience any pain in my spine. Do you remember the beginning of this story, when I told you about my dark side, which are the behaviors dictated by anger, sadness, and fear?
It was actually my battle against my dark side that made me understand the importance of feelings and if I hadn’t come to that conclusion, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to change my life. The deeper I ventured into discovering even the least pleasant sides of me, the more I felt like the brave Luke Skywalker, in Star Wars’ movie: “The Empire Strikes Back.” During a scene from the movie, Luke Skywalker faces his worst enemy (Darth Vader) in a laser sword fight. After an exhausting battle, Darth Vader succumbs. As soon as he walk closer to the enemy’s body, Luke is shocked to discover his own face behind Vader’s mask. Just like Luke mainly had to fight against his insecurities, against his dark side, so I had to fight against mine, which was preventing me from living peacefully and having a fully-functioning body. It was a long and difficult battle, given that the enemy was hiding within me, precisely in my subconscious. After winning the battle against myself, I couldn’t resist the temptation to share what I discovered about the power of emotions. But I had to move one last step in the direction of my complete freedom before sharing my experiences.
THE QUANTUM LEAP
After becoming single again, a new world full of possibilities opened to me. I jumped into a new life, created a more positive lifestyle because I was able to change my pattern of thinking, let go all the negative behaviors, thoughts, emotions, and improve my vision of the world and people around me. Eventually, I was able to reach a good level of self-esteem, accept myself 100%, and give priority to my needs first (that is taking care of myself and not being selfish). I also increased my self-awareness, and for the first time, I was able to ease my pain after Marco’s death, and create this peace by myself without any help from anyone, so a new positive energy took over my body and my mind. I went to work less stressed, however, I still had the idea that one day I would start my own business. For this reason, I decided to follow my passions by attending some kind of courses such as coaching, personal growth, public speaking, massage, postural training, radionics, Bach Flowers, and more. I became a life coach and a holistic professional too, I also opened a small studio at my home to give support to people with relationship and stress issues. As soon as I helped someone, I became more and more aware of my personal power that I could do what I wanted if only I trusted a little more in myself. Few months after my incredible transformation, one Halloween night, I met a man named Renzo, with charming blue eyes who found his way into my heart, and is still right by my side. Perhaps you may think it was luck, I prefer to think that everything that has happened to me is the result of my commitment to change, to know the real me, to give off positive vibration, and to create the conditions that favored my happiness.
The tools for change and reaching your goals are still the same: awareness, clarity, knowledge, tenacity, and commitment. Without commitment, you go nowhere; you do not make any significant change, even though you may have plenty of good ideas. Behind any life change, there is always commitment and strong motivations. Before taking crucial decisions, you often have to reach a good internal balance, a deep self-confidence and wait for the right time. You have to be in love with your ideas, feel that your goals make you happy, that they are useful for your personal growth and self-esteem. Then, before taking the “decision” that transformed my life from ordinary to extraordinary, I had to wait for the right moment too. It happened after a few months of dating Renzo when my personal life was about to settle down, as I was near to reach a peaceful state of mind. The big day, or the “Elena’s day,” came on May 13, 2013, when I took the courage to deliver to my Boss, my dismissal letter. Despite any trouble that may have occurred in the past during hard moments at work, I was very surprised to see my Boss and my colleagues were sad to hear that I was going to quit the job. Also, I was very pleased to see they were showing their moral support. Anyway, thanks to their support, and to my strong desire for expressing my creativity. Two days before I left my job, I wrote funny poems, which I dedicated to each of my colleague and my Boss. Then I prepared a sort of book containing all the poems, which I delivered to them on a party I had organized to celebrate my dismissal. It was a very special and funny evening, especially when I read the poems in front of everybody while we were having dinner.
The magic, however, did not end that evening. A few months later, a publishing company offered me a unique opportunity to publish some of the poems and also advertise one of them through a video on their YouTube channel. I could not believe that my creative energy would have spread through writing. At that time, I didn’t know the book of poems was just a stepping stone to my new adventure. These experiences taught me an important lesson: everything you are, feel, and think, manifests outside of you. The people around you sense your emotions, thoughts, and your energy because every living being on this planet is similar to an antenna that repeatedly transmits and receives data. This exchange of information, which takes place quickly and subconsciously, is based on a few rules that you are constantly experiencing even if you do not realize them. This is one of the reasons why most of the time you cannot foresee when your goals materialize in the real world; sometimes it takes a few months, other time it takes years. As you can see, before I took the decision to quit my job, I had to go through many experiences, which taught me some crucial lessons, one of the most significant: fully trust in your abilities and have good self-esteem.
A DREAM COMES TRUE
After quitting my job, I took a long period of rest, as I felt very tired, like if I had been sick for years. Having spent about 25 years doing a job I didn’t like, my body and my soul were exhausted. In the meantime, I had to find a rest home for my mother, because she demanded proper attention due to the condition of her health. Fortunately, I found a good solution for her, and then had enough time to concentrate on my new job. Since I had struggled with back pain and negative emotions for many years and finally discovered how emotions could somatize on one’s body, especially on the back, I thought necessary to tell the world my experience. I began studying the human body and psychosomatic. And then in 2016, I wrote and also self-published a book called: “Free yourself from back pain with the secret power of emotions”. This book, even in English, is now available on Amazon. Furthermore, I decided to dedicate my time even to self-esteem and personal growth since I had always been interested in these topics. And later, I created this website, lifenowacademy.com and wrote another book: “Be the Hero of your life”, an instruction manual for self-esteem, which is available on Amazon and here on my website. I thought it necessary to write a practical manual because I wanted to give people a logical scheme to follow in order to improve their self-esteem and be free from being stuck in detrimental emotions and thoughts. The amazing life adventure I’m now living is just the beginning. Who knows how many more books and courses I will write in the future. As you can see, when you follow your passions, many opportunities open up to you. Commitment and perseverance are the two fundamental ingredients needed to realize your ideas. Nothing can stop you from achieving any goal, even the hardest life events and the most troubled relationship you may have experienced can’t stop you. Any kind of situation has a lesson within. You can grab very important teachings, especially when you stay concentrated on yourself when you open your heart and listen to your emotions and also when you reach a good level of awareness. When you learn to stop complaining, to do away with self-pity, and when you do your best to calm down your mind, a new positive energy will move in on you. I’m sure that every human being has equal opportunities to happiness and wealth. This is not a question of luck, social or economic background, but when you get rid of negative beliefs, you’ll see that any change is possible.
When I was 30 years old, if someone had told me that in about 10 years, I would quit my job, write books, and become a life coach, I would certainly have told that person “that’s a lie.” You never know how marvelous the effects of your mind’s change will be. There is another important lesson I learned from my experiences: never listen to other people’s advice, even if they are part of your family or they are your friends. Don’t let other people influence you or tell you what you can or cannot do. Many people do not go behind the physical appearances, they do not care about who you really are, and so, they have no idea of your potential. If I had not learned to forget about other people’s opinions, today, I wouldn’t have been here to manage my own business. My story is only a little drop in the ocean of many other stories about people who had to overcome hard situations, even worse than mine, and also found the strength to get up again like a new man/woman. Therefore, you can do the same, no matter what the challenge is.
What are you waiting for before wearing the Superman’s cape and becoming the Hero of your life?