Negative self-judgment how to avoit it
Beware of negative self-judgment: one of the most dangerous enemies which can prevent you from achieving a good self-esteem
When you wake up from bed in the morning, what are your thoughts? When looking at yourself in the mirror, what do you tell yourself? As you dress and prepare yourself each new day, what is running through your mind? Are you aware of your thoughts? When we lack the knowledge of it, these thoughts keep creating the feelings and the tone that set our day. Unfortunately, for most people, these moments are filled with many negative self-judgments all their day. Negative thoughts have the ability to deprive our days of joy, focus, initiative, and can lead to depression. However, freeing your mind from negative self-judgment is very important. It will not only improve the level of satisfaction and happiness you begin to experience in your life, it will tremendously improve your health.
What is negative Self-judgement?
According to Springer, self-judgment results from thoughts individuals have about themselves and the meanings attached to those thoughts. The thoughts, hence, produce related feelings such as anxiety, anger, and depression. Judgments (The process of forming an opinion, or reaching a conclusion based on the available material) people make about themselves can become habituated as they are used to explain and validate unhelpful thoughts.
However, regrettably, what many people don’t realize is that negative self-judgment is not helpful and will not motivate you to become better. Our negative judgments about ourselves is a major cause of low self-esteem. Many of the painful emotions we experience each day are the result of the negative thoughts and judgments we make about ourselves. The negative judgments add to our stress level and the breakdown of our physical health. When we are judging ourselves negatively we feel less motivated to exercise, eat well, and our sleep can become disrupted.
When your self-esteem is strong, you tend not to engage yourself in negative self-judgment because you know who you are, you are perfectly aware of your abilities and of the goals you can achieve. You do not need to get the approval of other people to take any decision about yourself, choosing a certain job, acting in certain ways or doing whatever you deem necessary for your well-being. When you do not care, or you care less about what other people think of you, when you do not listen to their comments or disapproval, you are in the best condition as you can to be happy, worthy and to live in peace.
What do you think will happen when negative self-judgment is still an important part of your life?
If you fall into the temptation of judging yourself or losing yourself in absurd internal diatribes, whose only goal is to tarnish yourself and others, reflect on whether it is worth wasting your time judging. If you think you have made a sort of mistake, or you have behaved in a way you do not like, don’t you think it will be a waste of time if you spend your precious time judging yourself?
Instead of wasting your time blaming yourself for something you didn’t like about yourself, why don’t you stop for a moment and think if there’s something positive you could learn from your experience?
There’s always something you can learn from every kind of experience, even the one that seems the most negative. And one of the best way to improve your self-esteem is doing your best to abstain from negative self-judgment, and then thinking of good measures that can help you improve on yourself even when you have to face some difficult and unexpected situations. To be honest, I think self-judgment is a good teacher: it shows you how it is worthless to spend your time in absurd internal dialogues with yourself that may lead you to nothing useful. When you judge, do not base your information on data you haven’t personally verified, ask yourself if it is reliable. Do everything you can to avoid being influenced by the opinions of others and by theories you don’t find convincing.
There will always be someone to criticize everything you do. However, one thing you should know is that “complaints and judgment are useless”. At the cost of eliminating people who complain and judge too often, weigh the influence they have over you. Does their presence make you feel better or not? It is vitally important to be surrounded by positive people, people who make you feel good, happy, appreciate who you are, and what you do.
Let me ask you some questions about negative self-judgment.
Does each morning bring with it a reason to maintain a good self-esteem and keep your spirit alive? If your answer is “NO”, this is what you should do. First thing in the morning, to fight against negative self-judgment, tell yourself these words:
- Today is a good day
- I am the best version of me
- I love who I am
- God is always with me
- Yesterday doesn’t define me
- I’m a winner
- I can achieve all my dreams
- Other people don’t define me
- The past is behind me
- No one except me can control my happiness
- I create the opportunities for success
- Today, good things will happen to me
- I can do it
- I am strong
- All is well
So, let go of gossip, rumors, negative self-judgment, and start thinking of ways to explore all the marvelous things you can do.
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